As human beings, we’ve been wired to seek out social interaction. God made us to be in relationship with each other, not isolated and alone. Life is more enjoyable when we make significant, meaningful relationships, but success in this area requires God’s involvement. We’re free moral agents; we therefore have a choice to live our life to please ourselves, or live it to please God.

This is important to remember in our friendships and in our dating relationships. When we look for a potential spouse, the kind of person we attract depends on our attitudes and behavior. A smooth marriage relationship later depends on seeing any red flags before making a commitment; how the person we love treats others shows their character. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men” (Proverbs 30:11-14).

The prevailing mindset today among many singles is fear of never finding the right person. This causes us to abandon common sense out of desperation, and to depend on our own self-efforts. Any decisions made motivated by fear will have less than ideal results. The solution to this is to ask for the Holy Spirit’s help in the process. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you” (John 14:26, NKJV).

Letting the Holy Ghost lead and guide us in our search gives us a new perspective and brings God into the situation. He wants the best for us, and He’s pleased and honored to be included in this important stage of our lives. The Spirit teaches us godliness and changes our mindset about the right relationships for us and which ones to avoid. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Listening to Him spares us from unnecessary emotional pain and trauma.

Worldly relationships never take God into consideration. Those are the ones filled with strife, bitterness, and misery. Too often, people with low self-esteem fall into this trap. We’re made in God’s image; He wants us to value ourselves and see ourselves as He sees us. “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well” (Psalm 139:14).   

Our souls are where our thoughts and emotions reside, and where we make our decisions and choices. Letting God watch over our souls lets Him protect them from evil influences so that we can make decisions that please Him. This involves putting Him first over whatever selfish emotions we may have about the relationships we have with others. A strong relationship with God positively affects all our other relationships.

God wants us to experience success and peace; finding His match for us goes a long way in achieving that. “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (Ecclesiastes 4:9, NLT). We’re better together, but the individuals we choose to go through life with matter greatly. Trusting Him on this allows Him to bless all our relationships with joy and harmony.