Families are very precious to God, and He wants to bless them mightily. Everyone has their own personality, and family relationships are different in each household. No one is perfect; we all have our issues and disagreements from time to time. Often the conflicts we experience spring from fear; however, being conscious of God’s presence enables us to operate in His love and grace.

God Wants to Express Himself Through Families

God is after the family; His purpose has always been to establish His plan through the family unit. We can be thankful for this because we often find ourselves set apart and isolated, trying to be an island in and of ourselves. This is true with both the family of believers in the church as well as with individual families. If we can just figure out how to get along, then we won’t be disjointed and disconnected from each other.

There’s a connection between our families and the family of God. When we begin to understand how He sees us and how we should see each other based on His view, we can begin to express the fullness of His plan in the earth. From that, our own families can be a prototype of the family of God.

We see plenty of families in the Bible. God created Adam and Eve, the first family unit, and brought together Abraham and Sarah, to establish godly seeds in the earth through their children. None of them were perfect and everyone had their own issues, but God continued to love and accept them despite their shortcomings. “To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved” (Ephesians1:6). This still applies to us today; when we know that God accepts us, then we can, by grace, accept the people in our lives with all of their flaws and imperfections.

Christian Parents are Responsible for Teaching Godly Principles

In these last days, God is still about lineage and the godly seed. As believers, we therefore should aways be aware of what kind of lineage we’re imparting and passing down to our children. The example we set is important; our influence affects others and the relationships we have. Demonstrating the fullness that God wants to spread throughout the earth begins with believers who understand His Word.

One of the most significant areas in which God’s Word of grace impacts us personally is in our family dynamics. Fear-based relationships produce vastly different outcomes than grace-based relationships. As parents, we may have been raised in a fear-based environment; because of that, we tend to pass on to the next generation what we learned growing up. Learning to incorporate grace into our family relationships moves us away from the do-good-to get-good mindset and delivers us from fear-based parenting.

Too many people settle when it comes to their relationships, especially within their own family. It’s easy to make half-hearted attempts when trying to resolve issues, but it’s important to take the time to pray and receive God’s wisdom concerning our loved ones. There will be plenty of times when we need to hear directly from the Holy Spirit. “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue” (2 Peter 1:3). God has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness; this includes the grace to have strong and healthy relationships.

Grace Strengthens the Family Unit

The world’s way of parenting involves a great deal of fear and can cause us to be overprotective. Trusting God with our relationships gives us a different perspective, not just as parents but also as spouses. Not only does He put His promises into the hearts of our children, but He also takes away the fear of opening up emotionally in our marriages and being real and vulnerable. It takes courage to present our authentic selves to another person and risk being hurt, rejected, or taken advantage of, but that’s how God demonstrates His love to us.

Our family relationships should mirror the relationship between Jesus and the Father, and the one Jesus wants to have with us. We can be open and transparent with Jesus, knowing that He’ll welcome and accept us without judgment or condemnation. Coming into His presence is therefore emotionally safe. “For God did not send the Son into the world in order to judge (to reject, to condemn, to pass sentence on) the world, but that the world might find salvation and be made safe and sound through Him” (John 3:17, AMPC). This safe space that God creates for us has no fear; a relationship with Him improves all our relationships with others.   

We Must Trust God to Lead Us in Our Parenting

Being a parent isn’t for the faint-hearted; sometimes it can feel like we’re just out there swimming in the ocean not knowing what we’re doing. Grace-based parenting requires that we trust the Holy Spirit to work through us to keep our families from going to the extreme in any direction. This includes things like mutual submission, listening to each other, and open, non-threating communication.

When our children finally grow up, we need to know how to lovingly deal with them as adults. This kind of wisdom comes from God, and gently reminds us that we’ve reached the point where we don’t need to continue to try to be something that’s no longer needed in their lives. Our role as parents has changed; we can now come alongside them to help them mature and make their own decisions. This is the kind of close fellowship that establishes the fullness of God’s plan in our families.

Grace-based relationships are godly relationships. This is what God is pursuing on the earth, and what He destined from the foundation of the world. Establishing this isn’t always easy, but a willingness to be teachable lets Him work in us to perfect our relationships even when we, ourselves, aren’t perfect. Centering the family, and all the relationships in it, around God allows Him to strengthen it and pour His love into each member.